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The reviews are in for my poetry ...

Eliot Jacobson

Totally Disconnected
Supporter
I am humbled by the reviews --

Just when you think Jacobson is going to make a point or reach a conclusion, he finds yet another tragically obvious way to get totally lost.
—
Sir Franklin Johns, Professor Emeritus of English, Queen Maud Gulf College

I don’t know why Jacobson thinks this is poetry. It’s just the convoluted meanderings of a distracted troglodyte. Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do?
—
Feelius Upham, Senior Editor, Inside Poetry Weekly

What you are reading here is not poetry. At best, Jacobson has created a sequence of incoherent and unrelated sentences that start nowhere and go nowhere.
— Mona Topia, Board President, Buzzkill Magazine

Wait, this stuff is supposed to be poetry? I’ve seen soccer hooligans write better poetry on urinal walls.
—
Kara Laptev, Poet in Residence, East Kenilworth University.

This poetry is about as scintillating as weather channel reruns. The author can’t even manage an inferiority complex because his inferiority is too simple.
—
Ceta Famembert, Editor-in-Chief, The Cheddarer

The lack of clarity, logic and reason in the words and thoughts set in these pages by Eliot Jacobson leaves little doubt that humanity is doomed.
— Michael Suremer, Editor-in-Chief, Elliptical Inspirer Magazine

Embark on a journey of poetic discovery. Come for the depressing observations, stay for the objectionable opinions, and leave before you get to the limericks.
–Dorothy Gayle, Staff Writer, Kansas Ledger Daily

Some things are overpriced even when they are free. Some things that are seen cannot been unseen. I used to think cerebral assault is not a thought crime but after reading Jacobson’s poetry now I am not so sure.
–Oren Georgewell, Author and Futurist

It’s clear Jacobson suffers from TWS (terrible writer syndrome) and should get professional help. Wait! When did we let him out?
— S
igmund Oz, Chief Psychiatric Officer, Quantum Polarity Institute

I mean, who let this guy get in front of a keyboard? Isn’t anyone paying attention?
— John Swanker, Lieutenant, Santa Rogereo Police

~
 
Last edited:
I am humbled by the reviews --

Just when you think Jacobson is going to make a point or reach a conclusion, he finds yet another tragically obvious way to get totally lost.
—
Sir Franklin Johns, Professor Emeritus of English, Queen Maud Gulf College

I don’t know why Jacobson thinks this is poetry. It’s just the convoluted meanderings of a distracted troglodyte. Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do?
—
Feelius Upham, Senior Editor, Inside Poetry Weekly

What you are reading here is not poetry. At best, Jacobson has created a sequence of incoherent and unrelated sentences that start nowhere and go nowhere.
— Mona Topia, Board President, Buzzkill Magazine

Wait, this stuff is supposed to be poetry? I’ve seen soccer hooligans write better poetry on urinal walls.
—
Kara Laptev, Poet in Residence, East Kenilworth University.

This poetry is about as scintillating as weather channel reruns. The author can’t even manage an inferiority complex because his inferiority is too simple.
—
Ceta Famembert, Editor-in-Chief, The Cheddarer

The lack of clarity, logic and reason in the words and thoughts set in these pages by Eliot Jacobson leaves little doubt that humanity is doomed.
— Michael Suremer, Editor-in-Chief, Elliptical Inspirer Magazine

Embark on a journey of poetic discovery. Come for the depressing observations, stay for the objectionable opinions, and leave before you get to the limericks.
–Dorothy Gayle, Staff Writer, Kansas Ledger Daily

Some things are overpriced even when they are free. Some things that are seen cannot been unseen. I used to think cerebral assault is not a thought crime but after reading Jacobson’s poetry now I am not so sure.
–Oren Georgewell, Author and Futurist

It’s clear Jacobson suffers from TWS (terrible writer syndrome) and should get professional help. Wait! When did we let him out?
— S
igmund Oz, Chief Psychiatric Officer, Quantum Polarity Institute

I mean, who let this guy get in front of a keyboard? Isn’t anyone paying attention?
— John Swanker, Lieutenant, Santa Rogereo Police

~
Fun!
 
I am humbled by the reviews --

Just when you think Jacobson is going to make a point or reach a conclusion, he finds yet another tragically obvious way to get totally lost.
—
Sir Franklin Johns, Professor Emeritus of English, Queen Maud Gulf College

I don’t know why Jacobson thinks this is poetry. It’s just the convoluted meanderings of a distracted troglodyte. Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do?
—
Feelius Upham, Senior Editor, Inside Poetry Weekly

What you are reading here is not poetry. At best, Jacobson has created a sequence of incoherent and unrelated sentences that start nowhere and go nowhere.
— Mona Topia, Board President, Buzzkill Magazine

Wait, this stuff is supposed to be poetry? I’ve seen soccer hooligans write better poetry on urinal walls.
—
Kara Laptev, Poet in Residence, East Kenilworth University.

This poetry is about as scintillating as weather channel reruns. The author can’t even manage an inferiority complex because his inferiority is too simple.
—
Ceta Famembert, Editor-in-Chief, The Cheddarer

The lack of clarity, logic and reason in the words and thoughts set in these pages by Eliot Jacobson leaves little doubt that humanity is doomed.
— Michael Suremer, Editor-in-Chief, Elliptical Inspirer Magazine

Embark on a journey of poetic discovery. Come for the depressing observations, stay for the objectionable opinions, and leave before you get to the limericks.
–Dorothy Gayle, Staff Writer, Kansas Ledger Daily

Some things are overpriced even when they are free. Some things that are seen cannot been unseen. I used to think cerebral assault is not a thought crime but after reading Jacobson’s poetry now I am not so sure.
–Oren Georgewell, Author and Futurist

It’s clear Jacobson suffers from TWS (terrible writer syndrome) and should get professional help. Wait! When did we let him out?
— S
igmund Oz, Chief Psychiatric Officer, Quantum Polarity Institute

I mean, who let this guy get in front of a keyboard? Isn’t anyone paying attention?
— John Swanker, Lieutenant, Santa Rogereo Police

~
Hilarious!!
 
[/QUOTE
I am humbled by the reviews --

Just when you think Jacobson is going to make a point or reach a conclusion, he finds yet another tragically obvious way to get totally lost.
—
Sir Franklin Johns, Professor Emeritus of English, Queen Maud Gulf College

I don’t know why Jacobson thinks this is poetry. It’s just the convoluted meanderings of a distracted troglodyte. Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do?
—
Feelius Upham, Senior Editor, Inside Poetry Weekly
Hi
What you are reading here is not poetry. At best, Jacobson has created a sequence of incoherent and unrelated sentences that start nowhere and go nowhere.
— Mona Topia, Board President, Buzzkill Magazine

Wait, this stuff is supposed to be poetry? I’ve seen soccer hooligans write better poetry on urinal walls.
—
Kara Laptev, Poet in Residence, East Kenilworth University.

This poetry is about as scintillating as weather channel reruns. The author can’t even manage an inferiority complex because his inferiority is too simple.
—
Ceta Famembert, Editor-in-Chief, The Cheddarer

The lack of clarity, logic and reason in the words and thoughts set in these pages by Eliot Jacobson leaves little doubt that humanity is doomed.
— Michael Suremer, Editor-in-Chief, Elliptical Inspirer Magazine

Embark on a journey of poetic discovery. Come for the depressing observations, stay for the objectionable opinions, and leave before you get to the limericks.
–Dorothy Gayle, Staff Writer, Kansas Ledger Daily

Some things are overpriced even when they are free. Some things that are seen cannot been unseen. I used to think cerebral assault is not a thought crime but after reading Jacobson’s poetry now I am not so sure.
–Oren Georgewell, Author and Futurist

It’s clear Jacobson suffers from TWS (terrible writer syndrome) and should get professional help. Wait! When did we let him out?
— S
igmund Oz, Chief Psychiatric Officer, Quantum Polarity Institute

I mean, who let this guy get in front of a keyboard? Isn’t anyone paying attention?
— John Swanker, Lieutenant, Santa Rogereo Police
 
Would one be more or less inclined to open a book that had quotations such as this on the back cover?

I'd be more inclined.

Note to publishers...
Yes, Jay, I thought the same.

I did this same thing on my last gambling book, put the absolute worst reviews I could find on the back cover, only they were real! Here are two actual reviews that I put on the back cover:

"You are the biggest idiot I have the pleasure of not knowing ..."

"You are a disgrace. Get a job and stop being the brown nose ass kissing teacher's pet to the casino ..."
 
Last edited:
Yes, Jay, I thought the same.

I did this same thing on my last gambling book, put the absolute worst reviews I could find on the back cover, only they were real! Here are two actual reviews that I put on the back cover:

"You are the biggest idiot I have the pleasure of not knowing ..."

"You are a disgrace. Get a job and stop being the brown nose ass kissing teacher's pet to the casino ..."

:D
 
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